I closed my eyes

I closed my eyes

It’s ping pong and politics

Being told an insecurity by someone who matters, and being told because you matter, underscored by an episode of the office/how its always been forever. Maybe it’s a dream, and eyes are staying closed, and maybe hope can/has to be, superimposed

Eyes opened, met with black. It’s too bad I forget dreams so fast. I crave the nuance and… and well anyways time to go

I closed my eyes

There I lay, away from where I closed my eyes

In Dewsbury England, haunted again. The bathroom across the hall, and bed shaped tomb against the wall. I closed my eyes and can open them again, but I want to get further. Maybe getting through another day means I won’t be a failure. But this night never makes sense, it bends and bobs, for barely a beginning or an end

Sinking, freaking, please a new feeling, but never blinking because what happens if I go back. I can’t and won’t move, “ I thought I was there”. And now…. Im really super hungry hmm

I closed my eyes

Surrounded by monsters, Somewhere safe

It isn’t enough to send yourself away, to close your eyes for 8 hours a night. I closed my eyes or kept them open, it’s time to escape again. I closed my eyes and Back to playing ping pong poorly, and pouring our souls out, and feeling welcome to be rejected. I closed my eyes and Back to that infinite bed, but also before and after. The coldest winter, warmed by the kindest family, and the wettest summer, succored by the brightest intentions. That trap was the freest I’ve been.

And so I choose to return there when it’s hard to be anywhere else.

Half empty

Half full

We’re starting over